Double Scoop

An ice cream story

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has leaned but not fallen for 650-something years

My double scoop chocolate chocolate chip and cookies and cream on a wafer cone lasted less than 30 seconds before tumbling to the floor

Did I cry?

It was something closer to a siren

Was I inhibited by the eyeballs of our fellow customers?

I think I beefed up the drama just for them

I was seven. My stuffy toys had recently moved from the bed to the closet. Some nights I slept with my skateboard. Grandpa called me a ‘biggy guy.’ I resisted mom’s hugs even though I secretly liked them. I had a pet alligator lizard named Rumpy

But the ice cream

Sequence is everything. Put your favorite flavor on the bottom, your second favorite flavor on top. Do I need to explain why?

The cookies and cream and chocolate chocolate chip did not stick together

The chocolate chocolate chip landed on my shoe

The cookies and cream rolled a ways

As if beheaded by guillotine

Dad complained

The server got the manager

Voices were raised and four-letter words were exchanged as I pondered the flavors behind the glass (how would mint chip and toasted coconut pair?)

Dad said, I’m not sure what kind of business you people are running over here, but you’ll be hearing from us

There would be lawyers, a court case, a jowly judge banging gavel and saying, Order in the court, a settlement, a new cedar hot tub in the backyard, a New Year’s Eve party where things got messy, about a year of Dad sleeping on the couch

But first there was a bag of chocolate chip cookies

Bought from the liquor store around the corner

Want one? I asked Dad from the backseat, mouth full, cookie dust on my fingers

No, he said. But just, you know, hang on tight this time.